A Child to his Mother/Father

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I was a foolish kid. I look back at the things I’ve done to you and how much I lied to you and make you go through changes. But I finally understand because now I have a child of my own. Everything I put you through I couldn't see at the time for I was in my world. I am sorry for taking you for granted. If I could go back in time I would have made it better for you. It has taken me a long time to get here because of my ignorance. I remember the times I made you cry and worry about me. All the pain I caused you not knowing how much you sacrificed for me; I learned so much from you. I get to see the agony in me. I know it was part of growing up but I didn’t know that it was causing you so much pain. Now that I am grown, I understand but the suffering I made you go through can’t ever be forgotten and for that I am so ashamed.

You have taught me how be a better parent because you never ever let go and you stood there to make sure I followed the right path when I made it difficult and hard for you. You loved me unconditionally even when you were in pain with tears rolling down your face because of me. Now that I know better, I want to share my love to you and wipe all the tears I have caused you by showing how much I appreciate you and the love I have gained through you. For you are my number one in my life and world. Your love is so powerful that it has taught me how to share it with my own child. For I will love her unconditionally which is not as easy to do seeing what you went through with me. I never ever knew that you could love a child that much. I love you for loving me as much as you have and standing beside me all this time even when I was a bad kid. I am embarrassed as I look at your face and see the reflection on your face as I see myself. You made sure that I learned from my mistakes even when I didn’t want to hear it; you made sure I returned to the things that were of value. Nothing was more important to you than me. I became the person I am today because of you.

You made me realize you should never ever give up on your child no matter how hard or difficult it gets for every breath you took it was all about me. Now I want you to rest for this is your time for me to watch over you and take care of you. Just as you have watched over me. For my time will come with my child and hopefully, by never ever giving up on my child, they will gain the wisdom and knowledge you have passed down to me. Hopefully, when my child becomes a parent they will be able to pass the lessons on. Hopefully, my child will discover what I did with you.

THE JOURNEY

THE JOURNEY

PART 1

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A child wants to be born but before that child comes to earth to fulfill her journey there are things that child must understand.

The questions and answers begin.

Guide: “Child, why do you want to go to earth?”

Child: “Because I feel it’s time and I am ready; I am prepared for this journey.”

Guide: “Do you think you are strong and courageous enough?”

Child: “Yes, I have learned so much while I’ve been here.”

Guide: “Earth is not an easy place to go to. We all need to think before we enter there. Those that have been there before have failed and they continue to fail. You know it’s not easy, for you have been there before and you know that. Yet, you want to go back again so soon?”

Child: “Yes.”

Guide: “Why, my child?”

Child: “Because I feel that this time around I can do better than before. This time, I feel I am much more stronger and courageous than what I was before.”

Guide: “How about if you realize you are not strong or courageous enough?”

Child: “Then I’ll keep going down until I get it right. Isn’t that the purpose?”

Guide: “Yes, my child, it is. Gaining more knowledge and wisdom each time.”

Child: “I must try and believe that I will do much better than the last time I was there.”

Guide: “Child, things are not going to stay the same on earth as you see it now. I see what is coming and I feel their pain and anguish. They are going to go through a lot.”

Child: “What is the difference now?”

Guide: “The difference is that I see the changes the world is going to go through. For those changes can’t be stopped because all they care about is power and money. Do you still want to go down after hearing this?”

Child: “Yes, I do.”

Guide: “Child, are you not afraid?”

Child: “Of course, I am but sooner or later I need to go down to earth. I also have my purpose that I need to complete. You guide all of us for this purpose and you prepare us for our journey as we have all learned our lessons here.”

Guide: “Yes, you all did, but many of you will forget your own purpose and the tools that we sent you down with as well as the lessons that you’ve learned; that will all disappear. Do you think that there is a change for the people on earth?”

Child: “I don’t know for sure. I remember when I was there before, people didn’t want to hear anything. I know I can’t help everyone but the few that I can help, it will be worth it.”

Guide: “You’re right.”

Child: “I just want to try. I am not saying that I can get everyone to hear me but maybe this time, I can get more than before.”

Guide: “People have not changed; they are still the same, no matter what century it is. There are those that repeat the same cycle and those that still refuse to learn. What makes you think you won’t be one of them?”

Child: “I believe this time I can do it. I can’t explain the feeling I feel but I know that this time it will be different.”

Guide: “Remember, those feelings that you have could also disappear in time as you are on earth.”

Child: “Yes, you’re right but I still have to try. That is what is taught to us here before we enter earth; that everything and anything is possible in a positive or negative way. We are the ones that need to choose in time and we must never, ever give up.”

Guide: “Remember, this journey you are taking won’t be easy for you either because you’re going to have many responsibilities for a lot of people who are going to have their doubts and beliefs. It's going to be hard for those that believe something that was taught to them from centuries ago and has been passed on from generation to generation. Everyone holds onto things they believe in.”

Child: “Yes, I see that but they have forgotten how to believe in themselves.”

Guide: “That’s where you come in to show them that their belief wasn’t supposed to be taken away for they forget the most important person and that is themselves. Everyone has forgotten their own purpose.”

Child: “Yes, they have forgotten because when they came to earth they were taught by their parents and society to believe in things other than themselves.They have closed their eyes and blocked their hearing. They have forgotten where they came from and that is sad.”

Guide: “Yes, it is. I ask you, are you ready to be born?”

Child: “Yes, I am ready to be born.”

Guide: “Then let’s get you ready to be born.”

Child: “I am excited. Can I see my new parents?”

Guide: “Yes, but know this, what you see might not be what you think it is.

Child: “Why do you say that?”

Guide: “Because in that world down there, things change all the time. Situations change as well so be prepared.”

Child: “Now I am kind of scared.”

Guide: “That is a good thing then because you might not be caught off guard as you live in that world. Remember this child, when the opportunity arises allow yourself to be open to hear the spirits because many people have let go of the spirits. You will face many challenges; it's up to you to continue being strong and courageous. For we can’t interfere in your life no matter how bad it gets for we give you the tools to deal with whatever comes your way and you must remember those tools. Your prayers will be answered but maybe not to your liking at times or you might think we answered your prayers but be aware from where those answers are coming from because it is not always us. It’s time to say goodbye to everyone here.”

Child: “Will they watch over me?”

Guide: “Yes, they will and at times you’ll feel them and hear their voices.”

Child: “Oh, wow that is great.”

Guide: “Yes, it is but remember you have to be open to know this and hear it.”

Child: “Thank you for teaching me the things I needed to learn from my past lifetimes and for preparing me for this journey.”

Guide: “You’re welcome, my child. Go and say your goodbyes. Everyone comes to see your new birth and they are happy for you. Hurry up; it's getting closer to your birth. I am here. Okay, child, are you ready?

Child: “Yes, I am.”

Guide: “Close your eyes. When you open your eyes again you’ll be in the world.”



THE JOURNEY

PART 2



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Guide: “It’s time for you to leave.”

Child: “Ok, bye everyone. See you all soon.”

She carried me for nine months and during that time it was nice to be able to go back and forth and still see my family. I was allowed to continue to learn until I was ready for the day of my birth, which is today. Here I go to enter the world.

I must remember the things that are important and the many lessons I was taught. In years to come, many people are really going to forget about themselves and the children on earth more than ever before. People will look elsewhere and to other things like joining cults or religions or whatever intrigues them most. Other people won’t care at all. Meanwhile, everyone has forgotten the most important lesson of all which is that everything they are looking for is and always will be inside of them. For everyone comes with their own tools but we have forgotten all of it ; that is so sad. All of our answers are inside of us but we don’t believe it because we have lost ourselves on this earth. We have never ever acknowledged how important we all are. We all carry knowledge, wisdom, and so much more. We have just forgotten this but those that remember some of it will use it for fame and to make themselves rich off of you; others will use it to hold you back and control you.

Here I go! My mother is pushing me out. Oh wow! I am so cold. What is that light? It is too bright for me. I find myself talking to them but instead I am crying. I am letting them know how I feel but they don’t understand me; why is that? Hey, can you hear me? Every time I move my lips I am crying. What is this? No one hears me or understands me. What is this? No one told me about this. Now I need to find a way for these people to understand me. It took me a while to get it and how to make these humans understand what I needed. My cries have a purpose and meaning but I also have words; they just didn’t get it either or they didn’t try to get it. I spent my months getting familiar with them. I needed to learn their language because they weren’t getting my language at all.

Time flies and here I was at 1 years old. There were many people there that day but I didn’t recognize some of them at all. I just wanted to be in my home and walk around freely. I couldn’t walk the path because there were too many people there and many of them were taking turns carrying me. I tried to reach out to my mother but she didn’t understand that I just wanted to be home. More time went by and I experienced many sad and inappropriate behavior. Growing up wasn’t easy at all; it came with pain, anguish, hurt, tears, anger, hatred, disappointment, cruelty, shame, insecurity, and fear. I felt worthless, stupid, incapable of being someone important, and had no self-esteem. People always made me feel like I didn’t exist; they used me to make themselves feel better and tried to take control of anything and everything. And on top of all this, it came with being sexually abused and raped. I learned all of this growing up; how sad was that? There so many other children that went through worse and that is a bigger sadness because no child should ever start their journey with so much pain and sadness. I could have never ever imagined having the life that I did. You think you’re the only one going through disasters and then you get to realize that so many people have gone through their own tribulations. I got to realize how many cruel people are here on this earth and all the sickness that is being covered up; this sickness that has started from the most powerful people on earth.

Being born on this earth was more than I could have ever expected but never what I actually went through. I was an angry kid and I wanted to get back at everyone who hurt me. I used my rage to fuel me and I was out of control. I wasn’t able to hear what anyone had to say to me and I didn’t want to hear them; I didn’t care who it was.

Guide: “My child, you have forgotten your way. Can you hear me?”

I was just a kid.

Guide: “Have we lost you too? Have you forgotten what you said before you left, my child?”

I was so angry that I lashed out but it was strange because even though I was filled with anger, I didn’t feel good hurting other people and that made me angrier. I didn’t understand why I felt the way I did.

Guide: “Child, there is still a part of you that knows the truth; don’t let it go even though you’re not able to hear me.”

More time passed by and I found myself not knowing anything. I was more confused than ever. I was just a kid and I didn’t understand anything but my feelings.

Guide: “Keep questioning yourself and you will find the answers. Don’t close up now; try to stay open, my child.”

I started to feel sad for some kids in my school who were being picked on and I felt sorry for them so I decided to defend them. Don’t get me wrong, I was scared too but my anger was stronger. These bullies thought it was ok to treat others horribly and it wasn’t. My anger was towards the people who hurt others and I tried to help those that couldn’t help themselves. I was a little thing, skinny with no fighting experience. All I had was my anger and it did scare many kids away from me because they thought I was crazy. It was something about the way I lashed out; I was someone else. I just had this attitude of “I don’t care.” What do you really know when you’re a kid?

Guide: “I am proud of you for helping others but you need to know that is not the way. You can stand up but not with so much anger. Child, can you hear me?”

I started to have dreams and they were nice and peaceful; some people would be talking to me. I heard what they said and the feeling I started to feel was peaceful. I would ask questions and I would receive the answers in my dreams. In the dreams, they would tell me that answers came from many directions and that I needed to be aware. As a child, we don’t understand a lot but it’s like I did understand what was said to me. Then, one day, I suddenly hear a voice and I asked, “Who is that?”

Guide: “My child, it is your friend. I’m here to help you to understand everything that has been going on with you.”







THE JOURNEY

PART 3



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Guide: “But you still don’t hear me. You have become lost. I told you that people can make you forget the reason and the purpose you chose this journey. Different situations can cause the change in humans.

When these things happen, they lose their memories and they never realize these memories until they are home. Everyone is stuck in their pain and anguish that it becomes a challenge for people to find their answers; it is a challenge for them to find the answers and the tools that has been given to them. That is when the reality of the world collapses and everything starts turning backwards and not forward. They have forgotten it all and all the dreams they had. But we still have hope that you will realize it and come back. You may ask, ‘Why do I have hope?’ Well, it is because as a child you have never ever given up, no matter what was thrown to you in any lifetime; you always found a way to fight back.

We see you and we know what you have gone through but it's up to you to break free. Even though you can’t hear us or feel us, we are with you until you decide otherwise. Child, you have felt pain and have caused others pain but it didn’t make you feel good. You realized that gossiping about others and making them look horrible didn’t heal your pain. On your own, you realized that there is something inside of you which knew that, that behavior wasn’t acceptable. We hear when you pray and ask for forgiveness. We see when you’ve cried and shown your regrets; no one has seen that side of you.

We remember one particular day when you asked a question, ‘My mother hits me everyday when she drinks. Can you make the hurt be a little less?’ In your own darkness, you never asked for her to stop hurting you or asked why she didn’t love you. You only asked if we could make it hurt less. You never really knew who you were praying to or talking to. You always looked at the stars and spoke to them. We knew you were going to be the teacher that you are today because at just a young age you were able to understand things that adults couldn’t understand. People knew that there was something different about you.

You always spoke with knowledge and that was the knowledge that you brought down with you, even though you didn’t know it at the time. At school you couldn’t use that knowledge that they were teaching for you didn’t have that. It wasn’t that you couldn’t learn but there was so much you carried within your world and the responsibility that you had as a child. You were a mother to your mother at a very young age and you were a very emotional child that thought with her heart. As you thought with your heart, you didn’t give time to think with your brain; that came later on in your lessons. You helped others by showing the kind heart that you have. You always asked for help for these people but never for yourself; it was always about others and never about you. You were in pain and hurting but you couldn’t see another human being feel pain and hurt. At just a young age, you understood what they felt.

We have seen it all. We have seen the entire world full of people and children who suffer on earth. Your prayers have always been for others in pain and anguish but never ever about you, even till this day it is still the same. You never ever pretended to be perfect because at an early age you realized that you weren’t. You carried so much insecurities within yourself that we thought you were going to explode. You were a child that was into everything and anything, a nosey one to a fault. You wanted to know everything and anything and you wanted to learn more about the people in the world than going to school and learning from books. School was never your strength at all.

Your school was the people in the world for that became your expertise. You hang around people who always knew things that you didn’t know and you learned from them. You didn’t want to stop learning. You wasn’t ever afraid to learn and you continued to learn everyday, even though you were going through your hardships. You also learned how to laugh at your own pain and darkness; you found your way.

You were eight years old when you started to realize certain things and as you got older you realized much more. You went to Puerto Rico in the summer as a child and you looked forward to it even though there was still hardships there. You managed to make it enjoyable. We spoke to you but you still didn’t hear our voices until you wanted to die. You ate a plant that wasn’t good and though it didn’t make you die, it did give you a stomachache. You even laughed at that because you said, ‘I can ever make that happen.’ We were sad and yet you made us laugh.

You just have a way about you. Even though people were in their own darkness, you were never afraid to go through theirs. You tried so many times to help your mother so she may stop drinking but it always failed.

Let’s go back to when you first heard the voice. Do you remember? Think about it and answer the question.”

Child: “I always said I was eight or nine.”

Guide: “You were ten. Do you remember what you were doing at the time?”

Child: “No.”

Guide: “You were at the river washing clothes. I called you by your name and you turned. I said to you, ‘Don’t be afraid of my voice and,”

Child: “And I said, ‘I am not afraid. Who are you and where are you?’”

Guide: “‘You can’t see me,’ I replied, but you could hear me and you started to laugh.”




THE JOURNEY

PART 4

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Guide: “‘You can’t see me,’ I replied, but you could hear me, and you started to laugh. As I was talking to you, I saw that you weren’t scared but the more we kept communicating I noticed that you were so tough for a young girl. I saw that there was a lot of work to be done with you.

It took years for you to become free of your pain, anger, and sorrows. You were hard-headed and you stood your ground. We understood it, for you didn’t believe in any human beings; there was still work to do.

Lessons began and you were just a feisty child. You made fun of everyone including yourself. You had a way of looking at life that brought more attention to you; people couldn’t pinpoint it. You were so kind to people that it didn’t matter what their status was. They could have been drugs addicts, prostitutes, gay, alcoholics or just normal people but you were always kind. You just understood them, and you defended them to others while you were being judged for having an alcoholic mother. You carried so much pain inside, but no one saw it. They just saw a quiet kid that people could take advantage of. Yet, you kept smiling and laughing. You also loved to dance; that was another way out for you and an outlet that you brought with you. You made those around you laugh; you just had that gift. You have never ever forgotten where you came from. You always wanted to learn more each time, even if you didn’t understand it at times, but eventually you caught on. You carried compassion wherever you went even though you were still in pain. You always thought that there were kids in worst situations than you who were suffering. You never felt sorry for yourself and till this day you're still the same. You didn’t make it easy on us, either.

The lessons we were about to give you wasn’t going to be easy. We knew that you would have to realize that you made mistakes. Now you needed to face it and that wasn’t easy for you because you didn’t want to be seen as a person who caused pain. There was no excuse either, no matter how you felt at the time. You had to realize that the life you had wasn’t what you expected. You had to learn that there were people who were cruel and hateful and that these people had no understanding of their own lives. You had to see how so many people continue making the same mistakes and don’t learn from them. You had to learn how there are so many kids crying for help in their sufferings and how many will die because of people’s misery and anger. You had to see how many kids will suffer under those circumstances? You saw the war that was heading your way. You always saw farther than the other children. You started to see things though you couldn’t see it for yourself and because of that you made mistakes. In time, you allowed yourself to learn from those mistakes. There was always something preparing you for your journey even though, at one moment, we thought you were going to be in the world.

As you were learning, you caught on fast but when it came down to learning more about yourself, it took time. You were doing good. Remember when you left the spiritual world to see the world out there because you wanted to see what you were missing? You realized in time that there was nothing you were missing, and people were like robots, as they still are today. You were disappointed but you still learned. During those couple of years, you didn’t hear our voices because we wanted you to see things on your own which in time you did. Then you returned to your lessons. Years passed by and everything was good but then tragedy occurred when your son was diagnosed with cancer at the age of six.

You learned that he would become your master which was something you would have never thought. For it was his time to teach you and he taught you so much. He shared with you more about the spirits and showed you their world; this journey was the most difficult one you had to face. When you looked at the stars at night you would ask that your son wouldn’t suffer, and you would ask for the strength and courage you needed to accept what was to come. You never asked for him to be cured and continue living because you knew already that whatever was meant to be will be. You also believed that it wasn’t that you weren’t getting your answers but that he was going to die even though the doctors said he would be fine. You didn’t believe in asking for his life because you understood something that many didn’t understand; you knew he was going to die. This was something that wasn’t easy at all, but you needed to be in the reality of it all and you also knew that it was meant to happen. That was the hardest thing to deal with, but you faced reality and made no excuses.

You fought to keep him alive as long as it was possible, and you never felt pity. Instead, you made him stronger which helped him to last longer than what was excepted. That journey you took was the worst and yet you had compassion for the parents that were facing the same journey as your child. Many of their children had brain cancer or other types of cancer. We welcomed many of our children back so soon. Losing a child is never easy. Do you remember telling this to a woman that lost her child?

She said to you, ‘My daughter died in a car accident. I know how you feel losing a child for I also lost mine.’ You told her, ‘No, I don’t know how you feel because you lost your only child. I still have two children left.’ She looked at you and couldn’t understand what you just told her. At first, she was confused and then she realized that what you said was so true. It took her awhile to connect with what you told her. She reached out and hugged you and kissed you. She was amazed that you told her that. She said to you, ‘Thank you for seeing that and for letting me know that there is a difference. Thank you,’ and then she left. You also told this same message to your best friend who had also lost her only son in a fire. When someone loses their only child it's not the same as you losing your child. Every death is different, and everyone responds differently. You believed that those deaths were more painful than the one you experienced. For that is the way you felt but you took the time to see it for what it was and that takes strength and courage to accept it too.

You were still learning and growing and allowing yourself to see things more and understand more of your lessons. You were able to hear clearly and feel things and the people around you. You got to know their world and understand it which was important because then you could help them for every human being was different and their world was also different. You learned how to deal with each and every one of them. We knew that it wasn’t going to be easy for you either and that you were going to go through a lot of tribulations for human beings are stuck in their own ways. Many of them believe in so many things but they never ever believe in themselves. Other people will question your teachings, and some will use it to their advantage. Others will laugh and call you names and there are those that always run away from everything and can’t face the truth. You understand that because you have been there before you gave up and surrendered yourself. Answer me, what do you think you have done to this point in your journey? What have you gained?”

Child (as an adult): “I have followed my journey and I have not allowed anyone to take me away from it. I have gained more wisdom and knowledge than I could ever ask for. I learn from all of my students for they also carry messages. I also learned that humans have lost themselves and given themselves to the world but have never given anything to themselves. I learned how many people are afraid to see the truth and how they continuing to hide and run away. Everyone is prepared to spend money on knowledge, but they don’t realize that they carry knowledge and wisdom already inside of themselves. They don’t see how amazing they are.”

Guide: “Yes, you’re right but don’t forget that your job is to teach those that don’t want to learn and help those that think they have it all figured out. I see your students are taking action in what they need to do but do they get it? Do they think they get it? Your lessons take a long time and other lessons come quickly but your lessons never came quickly, right?

Me: “No, they didn’t, and I am still learning.”

Guide: “You’re right but let's go to the lessons that you didn’t want to face. I want you to remember why you chose to continue this journey? What is so important about the journey you are taking? There are people who don’t consider you to be who you are. I hear people asking you, ‘Where did you get your degree in spirituality?’ I have seen people reading everything you write, and they like it but they still run away and some still hold onto their pride and ego. It’s not about the truth of someone else, it's about the truth within them; that's what you deal with all the time. How does that make you feel as a teacher?”



THE JOURNEY

PART 5

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Me: “People have a way of driving themselves crazy. There are people that are funny in their own ways and in the ways they choose to see things. They make themselves feel happy with their own lies and they live their lives that way because it is easy for them. I chose to continue to fulfill my purpose because I didn’t want to disappoint myself or those that believed in me. What do I find important about journey? Well, I want to do more than my last journey. I want to reach out to people who were lost and still are. I want to help them find their way so they can be free and independent.

Yes, you’re right about the fact that there are people who won’t consider me to be who I am and that is alright with me. For everyone has free will to do and think the way they do; that is what we have been taught before coming into earth. I can only do the best that I can to help those that are willing to grow and learn.

Yes, there are people who ask me, ‘Where did you get your degree in spirituality?’ I smile at them and tell them the truth, that the spirits taught me and they look at me with wondering eyes. At that moment I leave because I see with their eyes that they have no understanding of it. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of me; it's what I think about myself that matters.”

Guide: “People are always going to judge what they don’t understand. It’s like a child who’s born with a gift and society calls them a genius when in reality they brought that gift with them from their past lifetime. No one shares that knowledge. When you look at it, there’s no geniuses there, it’s because they chose to bring that gift back with them in this lifetime to finish the journey they couldn’t finish before.

It took a long time to get where you are at and you work hard. Everything did not come easy but you did it. Everybody’s job is to find their own way and hopefully they get it. There is so much division going on that it makes it confusing for so many people; they are unsure of which direction they should go. Life knows how to play you and use your weaknesses to bring you down. One way or another, everyone falls for it. They believe they’re thinking ahead when in reality they’re not. Education matters in this world because you all have to live and survive here but just remember that when you come back home that education has no purpose here. It’s about what you’ve learned and how much you’ve allowed yourself to grow and gain wisdom and knowledge. These are things that costs no money or pressure, instead it carries so much value within you. I also understand that it might be too much for your brain to take in.

While on your trips to Puerto Rico, you learned so much about the spiritual world. You didn’t look forward to going back home. You felt as though time passed by too quickly and you never had enough time, but you did, though it didn’t seem like that to you. Going back home to New York was not a really peaceful place for you either. You got some peace in Puerto Rico even though you had your demons there as well. Like always, you dealt with what came your way. Once back home, you were getting ready to start the school year which was something you didn’t look forward to because you had other things to deal with like your mother and your brothers. Your brothers dealt with things differently than you. In their own way, they ran away from their problems and did what they wanted to do, not what they needed to do. It got to the point where your oldest brother would end up putting his hands on your her mother because he was angry and that's how he dealt with it; you were always in the middle defending your ma.

You saw violence at a very young age. It started with your father hitting your ma when you were six years old. Even at that age you would still get in between your mother and defended her; you were her protector till the end.

You took responsibility, but it was the way in which you did it that stands out. You always had to see the truth from the beginning. You owned up to your mistakes, which isn’t easy to accept. No one admits that they were wrong or that they made a mistake. You always took responsibility even though there were many times when you wanted to run away and never ever look back. Especially during the time that your son passed away. At times, you still feel the same way. I think if there was a way to run away, you would. Remember when your mother said it was time to do your first communion and in order to do so, you had to confess your sins to a priest. You went in and sat down and waited for the priest to open the small window. He waited for you to say, ‘Forgive me, Father for I have sinned.’ The priest replied by asking you to tell him your sins and you said to him, ‘Well, if you tell me yours, I’ll tell you mines.’ The priest was surprised you said that and repeated again, ‘Tell me your sins, child.’ You told him, ‘I’m not your child and I won’t tell you my sins until you tell me yours.’ He got very upset with you. He took you to your mother and told her what you did. Your ma slapped you and scolded you. She told you to behave and respect the priest.

You went back to the room and he asked you again to share your sins. You told him, ‘You have a sin.’ He asked, ‘What is it?’ You replied, ‘Your sin was that you lied to my mother because you didn’t tell her the truth.’ He asked you, ‘What was the truth?’ You replied, ‘That you didn’t want to share your sin with me.’ At that point he had enough and told you to leave. You were the same way when you did your confirmation. You never ever understood it and you questioned everything, even the bible. You would annoy those around you and you always felt something wasn’t right. You told a friend of yours in school that there was something with these priests and nuns that just wasn’t right; it was something you felt and you went with it. Years later, it was shown that what you felt was right. You were a thinker and you always tried to see things for what it was and at times, you ran into complications because of it. There were those that didn’t like you. You started to become a loner, but it wasn’t that you were trying to prove everyone wrong; it was about what you felt and you believed that you stood your ground even though many people tried to change your way of seeing things. You didn’t allow that to happen and you continued your journey, even though you did not realize that you were taking a journey at that time.

Many things ran through your mind and none of it made sense to you. You always asked questions in everything and anything. You wanted to find the meaning of it all. You didn’t want to stop learning but things became more difficult for you; you couldn’t learn like the other children in school. Learning at school wasn’t your strength, but not because you couldn’t learn; it just wasn’t easy for you. In the 1950’s, no one understood that there were students that learned differently. The difficulty in learning made you feel stupid and the crisis in your home didn’t make it any better. School didn’t bring that much interest to you. You were learning more about spiritually and you understood your lessons well, which was strange. Even though you struggled, you didn’t stop in school either, but you still fell behind in your learning and your homework.

You still had your tribulations in your life but you found ways to laugh at yourself while making mistakes. Someone asked you, ‘Does being spiritual mean that you don’t go through hard times?’ You looked at that person and said, ‘Is that what you believe?’ We are both in the same world. Why should it be any different for me? Everyone suffers in their own way, seriously. No one gets away with anything even if they think they are getting away for it always comes back, one way or another.’ You were right in how you answered. You didn’t chose to prove that person wrong because it didn't matter what they thought about you. You knew better and you started to see that there are questions that did not have to be answered.

Your started to realize what was important in your life. Your mistakes became little and those mistakes didn’t hurt you or anyone else. Life threw you a lot of negativity your way but you dealt with it and then let it go. Negativity will always be there and it will remind you that it isn’t going anywhere; it will be there till the day you leave this earth. You started to stay away from those that were negative and you lost many people in your life but that was your choice; you already had a good friend and you were about to meet another good friend. You grew to stand on your own and you weren’t afraid to face what was heading towards you.”



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THE JOURNEY

PART 5

Guide: “People put too much trust in society and not enough in themselves. They believe that society knows more than they do, but does society know more? Society knows how to manipulate you in so many ways by trying to tell you what is right and what is wrong. Society uses this as a way to hold people, just like everything else. Everyone is looking for what is new and they are letting go of the old; it's what's in fashion.

We keep forgetting that we are all geniuses but society tells you differently. They take what's been inside of you since the day you have arrived on earth. You are left with your own greed and power. They take away the best parts of you and you actually believe that what has been told to us by society is best and boy, are you wrong. You are forgetting so much of where you came from. We are here to fly and spread our wings to the highest level of our journeys so at the end we may let go and arrive back to where we started from.

You have lost the beauty that flows through the water. As we saw it shining it gave us colors of the earth, where the land is so precious and kind that it feeds us, as the trees cover us from harm. We have lost the value of the land, trees, water, sun, moon, and the stars that once made us feel beauty within by putting a smile in our hearts. It allowed us to surrender ourselves to the peace that entered while we set our minds free of the heaviness we have been carrying and it allowed us to recharge again so that we may deal with another day. Where has all of this gone and why have you let go of it? We can say that people have destroyed the beauty, but what about you? What have you done to find that beauty that is still caged within you? You can’t even blame what you believe in because it’s still your choice to open yourself up. Don’t think that society or a book can do it for you because that's not the way it goes. It's all up to you to recognize and let go of what holds you down. The people that run the world are destroying it because of their own agenda. They feel that they are empowered or they are some sort of Higher Power and they do as they please. We just stand there and take it because we are too busy doing what society asks of us.

They are getting away with it. People believe what they choose to believe in. Everyone thinks they are right, but are we right and who is to say that it's right? When do you recognize your truth? What is your truth? You all need to find your truth. Your truth cannot be somebody else’s truth; everyone needs to find their own. How does one find their truth? By getting to know who and what you are, by finding your purpose and allowing yourself to follow your journey. How does one know if they are following their journey? You’ll know if you allow yourself to hear. Everyone can hear their spirits. There is not a person on this earth that doesn’t hear their spirits but it's up to you to open that door. Believing in yourself is the biggest opening you can do.

Remember what I said before, we all don’t come from the same place therefore we are all mixed together here on earth, the positive and the negative. Our higher source is different from others who come from the negative. They also carry wisdom and knowledge within them, just look at who is running the world. We came here to build the beauty of the world and to enrich it with the gifs and tools we have brought down with us. The land is our source of growth, just as the trees bring us wisdom and knowledge from the fruit that it carries for us.”

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THE JOURNEY

PART 7

Guide: “Everyone wants to come to earth to find the answers that each person must find for themselves. In their journey, they continue to grow and learn for the world’s job is to show you the beauty that each world has to offer. The world also has two sides to it, just like everything in life, you must decide which side to go to for that is always your choice. You are the one with the answers because you bring the knowledge and wisdom that was given to you before entering this earth. No one comes here with nothing; they come here with everything. You have the choice to not use your abilities. Many people have lost their way and they have corrupted everything that was supposed to be good; they took it for granted and they still do so today.

You are all slaves to this system and will continue to be slaves until the last breath you take. Sooner or later you're going to end up with nothing and you’ll find yourself where you never ever thought was possible to be. Things will happen, that’s for sure. You’ll realize the truth when you end up facing it. Everyone’s job was to wake up; that was your responsibility to see with your own eyes but I see people are still sleeping or they choose not to see because they are afraid. Believe me, I get it and we are afraid for all of you but ignoring it won’t make it go away either. This life is not about living miserably. Everyone worries and they go through many tribulations, tragedies, pain, sadness, and unhappiness. They have lots of fears and doubts within themselves. They don’t believe in themselves which is the greatest sadness of it all. Society and the system want you to be confused and you allow it because you follow the system. You believe that they care about you but you are all just a number to them. It was never about how much you have but about how much you have learned and gained within you. It was about fulfilling your journey. You reach out for things that don’t matter but who am I to say that, right? I am not judging you. I’m sharing what I see and the things that are happening around you that you choose not to see.

We are not about controlling you. We are not asking you to follow either. It’s about finding out who you are and what you are. It’s about giving yourself that freedom that was given to you before you entered earth. We also need you to believe in yourself because if you don’t then what was the purpose of you coming here? Finding these things out about yourself would have made this journey better for you. You can serve yourself first and then others so that you may teach them lessons. Earth is like going to school and learning new things but we continuously learn until it is our time to leave earth.

We want you to believe in yourself and know that you have a purpose whether small or big; it doesn’t matter at all. The important thing is that you follow it. No one is greater than the other for you are all great and that's what we want you to see within yourselves. When I would see that little girl, who is today a teacher, I saw it was never easy for her. I remember when she would go to church with her mother and at a young age she didn’t understand why people gave tidings. She asked her mother about this but her mother would silence her. However, an elderly man who happened to hear her explained why the church goers give tidings and the girl replied, “Then why don’t they feed the man that sits on the stairs? He needs help. The priests tells him that he must get up and learn.” The elderly man looked at her and said, “You’re right; that wasn’t nice what he did.” The little girl had two quarters and said, “I didn’t put this in the tidings because I want to give it to the man on the stairs.” The elderly man laughed because of the child’s innocence and how she believe that two quarters would be enough to feed the homeless man.

He took the quarters from the girl and said, “I will buy him something to eat, ok?” She looked at the elderly man and said, “Don’t lie to me. Those quarters are for his food, not for you to keep.” The elderly man replied, “I promise I will feed him.” She left with a smile and no one, not even her mother, knew what just happened. She told her mother, “I don’t want to give money to the church anymore” and her mother said, “You’re crazy. You want to go to hell?” The kid replied by saying, “Ma, I didn’t come from hell so I don’t have to worry about that. Ma, the one that should worry is the priest.” Her mother asked why and the little girl said, “Because what he is doing is bad and it is wrong.” The kid asked, “Why can’t we just give tidings to the people that need it?” Her mother just brushed her off. The kid wasn’t wrong in what she asked. If you choose to give tidings then give it to a person you know really needs it, like children who are in need, the homeless, or children that wear the same clothes every day. You decide who you think needs help but don’t give it to these places that are not in need because you are making them richer and richer. Everyone should be aware of where the money goes; it wasn’t easy getting it for many people work very hard to make a living. It’s not what you say that matters, it’s what I see that does. This child had no idea what was heading towards her but she saw things that no one else saw at the moment.

Money always comes and goes; everyone is facing difficulties except the rich. You all have to pull it together and make things happen; don’t wait until it is too late. Again, everyone is feeling the pressure and everyone is either hiding or running to nowhere. You all need to survive and I see it’s hard. There are so many people, especially children with illnesses and I see the suffering that everyone is going through; that is not the way it was supposed to be.”

THE JOURNEY

PART 8

Guide: “The rain brings the cleanliness of the land as well as our bodies. The wind blows away the negativity within us. The sun brings in the heat within our hearts. The moon brings us the relaxation that we need to face things within us. The stars remind us of our journeys back home.

You have seen this and have seen the truth within you. Your lessons were not easy but you stayed even though you might not have known what was really going on. There were many people who also suffered in their own way; we had to see others that went thru painful situations as well. You dealt with your truth as others tried to find truth in other places but not within themselves. They looked to find their truth in the world. We are like children who still follow others and not ourselves. One way or another, we all have lost our way. Many people choose to corrupt themselves while others try to do the right thing. The system will continue to be with us until our last breath; we are just numbers to them so we can do the job they cannot do and I am not just talking about the jobs that people don’t want. THINK!

We are so far and yet so close but we choose not to see it. Yet, you reach out for things you want and never for what you need. Even though we are all different, everyone gets treated the same because we go through the same experiences but it doesn’t mean we deal with it the same way because we all deal with things differently. This is something the system doesn’t want to accept; everyone is not same as the other. Many people choose to run and hide; no one wants to face the truth within them. Do I blame them? No, it’s not easy facing the truth all the time and seeing the reality of things. Many people are afraid of death for it scares them and they are unsure of where they’ll end up yet they’re not afraid enough to get their life together, funny, isn’t? People who have experienced death and have survived will share what they saw but they don’t realize that, that’s their journey they are sharing, it doesn’t mean it’s your journey.

For people who see the light and survive, it means that it’s not time to go home yet and they were given the chance to do what they need to do within themselves as well as reflect on their life and relationships with others. For people who felt as though they were in hell, it means that if they continue the journey their on that is where they’ll end up. Why do we have to wait for these signs when we all know better? Come on, you know when your things are not correct. You’re not children though you act as one. Death is just another form of lesson and an opportunity for growth for we all will learn from our mistakes and make sure we don’t take it with us when we return to earth again. I have seen you all and yet you are still stuck in this society because it feels good and you like it.

Remember this, you don’t take anything with you; everything stays behind, you fools. What no one understands is that we all suffer, one way or another, whether you’re rich or poor; everyone carries their own baggage. We all live in world that is calculated by the government, society, and the system; it is what it is.

What everyone also doesn’t realize is that not everyone is going to succeed but that doesn’t mean you fail, it means you choose a different path, that’s all. Another thing, when we use the word “try” the world sees it as you’re trying or attempting to do something. However, the word “try” means you’re actually doing it and that’s how we see it. Everyone shares their knowledge and wisdom but it doesn’t mean they are right. It’s up to you to see the true within you.”

Me: “I have met all sorts of people, both rich and poor, and I’ve seen people make things more complicated than what it needed to be. I’ve seen people let fear take over them. I have also met those, both poor and rich, who are humble. I laugh at what society says about children that are born geniuses because in reality that child is here to finish the journey that they didn’t get to finish when they were here on earth the last time. Why does society put the word “genius?” Society has a word for everything and we are taught to believe in those words. It makes people feel entitled because they feel they are stupid if they go behind the screen.”

Guide: “Everyone is born with knowledge and wisdom and you all carry gifts for everyone is a genius. The system tells you differently; they separate us into different categories but we can all learn from each other. We all need degrees to live in this society and I get that but there is more to this journey than a degree. We miss the important things in the world because you are too busy making money, paying bills, and taking care of your children but many of you have lost the way when it comes to taking care of yourself and your children. Everyone focuses more on themselves than anything else. These children are our future and you keep forgetting that. No one says you can’t enjoy yourself but there are always limits in life otherwise you wouldn't be able to accomplish the things you need to. Any journey we take won’t be easy but we all have a PURPOSE.

Just try not to let the system or society take control of your world. You all must be courageous and stand up for your beliefs. Do not allow fear or people to take you away from your journey for they are here to destroy you little by little. Don’t allow pride and ego or drugs to dictate how your life should be; look further than what is in front of your face.”


To be continued…




























"I"

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Part 1

I have been rich, I have been poor, I have been blinded and I have seen. I have traveled the wonders of the world and seen pain and destruction. I have seen the hurt on people’s faces. I have seen people losing their hope; they have given up on themselves. I’ve seen their struggles, their conflicts. I have heard your prayers and I have given you answers but your inner self is so far from the light that you cannot hear the words; you cannot see the words, which is so simple to see, written in different forms. Prayers are answered in many different forms; by a stranger, music, a book, a newspaper, a play, a movie, a child, or within yourselves. You’re too much into that world that you cannot see the riches within you. You all think that the riches you need is out there in that world, how foolish are you? You don’t believe in yourself, but you believe in everything else, like really? You want to believe in so many things that you forget about the most important person, which is you. You see, we forget what we teach our children and what was taught to us. I have nothing to do with that, but you do.

As a parent, we want the best for our children.

We want them to believe in themselves.

We want them to know that they are special.

We want them to know that everything and anything is possible.

We want them to know that they should love themselves.

We want them to know that they have a purpose here.

We want them to be kind, caring, compassionate, understanding and know how to forgive.

We want them to learn that they are not better than anyone except themselves. You’re not here to be in competition unless it is with yourself.

You want your child to grow and never be afraid to stand up on their own for what they believe in within themselves.

You want your child to be honest and strong.

You want your children to never be greedy or controlling.

You want your child to know that it’s not their place to control someone or try to change someone else because that is not their job.

You want your child to follow their journey.

You want your child to follow their dream.

You want your child to be happy and in peace.

You want your child to find a good husband or wife.

It doesn’t take away from what you believe in. When you allow what you believe to take control of your life and you let everyone know that your beliefs come first, that is unacceptable for that is not what I taught all of my children. I taught you to believe in yourself first because without that you cannot believe in me. If you feel you can believe in me without putting yourself first, then you’re going to be very disappointed when the time comes. This is the time to show me that you are worthy of my love and my respect; just as I have earned that from my father by following my journey within me first. In time, everything will connect. For soon I will become your student and you will become my teacher as you will share your journeys with me. We are taught to put everyone first but when you put yourself last you lose the person you were meant to be in the first place and that is when your life becomes hectic and complicated.

We are taught that putting ourselves first is selfish, and then people make you feel guilty for thinking about yourself. The word “selfish” comes with a negative meaning because there are people who don’t care or feel compassion for others and that is why people often say, “You shouldn’t be selfish.” When I say, “Think about yourself,” I mean get to learn about yourself and deal with your issues; become the person you should have been. When you don’t allow yourself to be who you were meant to be you tend to have many regrets later in life because you didn’t follow your journey. Many people will end up pushing their failed journeys on their children, so that they can fulfill the journey they didn’t complete within their children but that doesn’t work that way. Everyone should follow their own path especially if it doesn’t bring any negativity that ends up destroying their journeys or affecting others in their journey.

Everyone hides from life and they choose to think that by hiding this will give you the answer you’re looking for, but it doesn’t. Whatever superior being you believe in, believe me when I say to you that when you entered this earth, I’ve given you the tools to use so that it can help you with your life on earth with the exception of killers, rapists, and those that abuse children and human beings. I have seen this treatment all over the world with people and children. When you fail my children, you fail me. Those that are hurting and starving my children and humankind will soon be prisoners and soon will feel my wrath.

You didn’t allow yourselves to see the wonders and the magic that has been given to you. You don’t believe enough in yourselves to make a difference. I have walked the world and seen people kneel and ask me for mercy, yet no one has given it to you on earth. They look upon me, and say, “You have forgotten me,” but I have not forgotten you, you have forgotten yourself. You have forgotten your values, your purpose. No one said that the journeys you all chose to follow would be easy especially when dealing with the pain and tribulations that come with it.

I have had many tribulations and still chose my journey. I have continued my journey till the end of my time. That is what I chose and because of my journey I became better with having compassion towards all my children in the world. You should find your path and if in time it doesn’t feel right then go and continue looking until you find where you belong. Just make sure it brings you peace and comfort and that it teaches you a lot. Everyone, sooner or later, finds their way if they choose too.

Even if people might not understand at the moment, everyone needs to find themselves and hopefully they do so for the positive reasons. I believe that we are all different and because of that, everyone is special and powerful. We all want the same things, no matter what color we are or how different we are. We all want to feel happiness, we want to have good health, we want love and most of all, we want peace. When people go looking for answers, some will overdo it and others will lose their mind in the midst of things, which is sad.

Some people will overreact on their beliefs and force others to believe in the same things by pushing them, which I don’t agree with. There will be other people that are looking to belong somewhere and there are others that will get into things out of fear; while other people will try to find answers in everything and anything. There is not a person that is not looking for answers.

Sometimes we don’t know when enough is enough. People run from the reality of life because of their traumatic experiences. Some of these people will become drugs addicts or alcoholics and some will destroy their lives. Some people will commit suicide because of their traumas. Unfortunately, it’s not easy to say, “Get it together.” For many people it isn’t that easy to do, not because they are weak, but because of who they’ve become. Many of you won’t be able to understand it. It’s important for us to know who we are. You must learn to be who you are and what you are. You ask, “Why?” It is because of the journey that was given to you as you entered this earth, by not learning who you are, the person that you were meant to be got lost along the way. This also applies to the people who are rich; never ever think that, that world is better than yours, don’t go there.

Part 2

You look up to the sky and I hear you as you ask, “Why me?” Well, why not you? I went through my tribulations and I never asked, “Why me?” We are all special but that doesn’t mean we’re not going to go through issues. You all have the tools you need to succeed. I gave them to you so that you could choose to do good or bad; that is your choice. I taught you to find your own answers within, but you have forgotten because of society and because you allowed it. You have forgotten that everything you’ve ever needed has been and will continue to be inside of you. We look out there for our solutions and never within. I did not create suffering, tribulations, or traumas. I didn’t create sickness or death.

I didn’t create pedophiles, trafficking, or starvation. Humankind created all of this because of their greed, power, and selfishness. You chose to look upon and follow that greed and power. I’ve given you the answers that you’ve been looking for all this time, but you choose not to hear it within. Don’t look upon me as though I am the bad one. Look upon humankind and see how far they have gone with all the hatred they have created and all the devastations that have happened to the people on earth. Again, I didn’t create this world. What I created was love, compassion, peace, joy, laughter, kindness, and so much more.

Do not compare me or judge me for none of you really know who I am. Don’t go by what you read; that is just a fairytale. I gave you choices to make. Wake up and see and feel what’s inside of you. Start judging yourself and not others. Take a good look at yourself and find out why you choose the life you live in. Don’t blame me for your choices. Everyone needs to take responsibility for their own actions and what they have created.

Children shouldn’t be suffering or starving at this point in time. You support what doesn’t matter and you can’t feed my children; it’s a shame how humankind has allowed this. They have also destroyed the land and the air that was with heart but was taken away because of greed and power. My children shouldn’t be in pain or in anguish or in any kind of sickness. Children are dying and part of it is due to the fact that you have lost your humanity. Then you look upon me to say it’s my fault and I’m not the one that’s there, you are. I have not failed you; you have failed yourself. I have given you strength, courage, confidence, wisdom, knowledge, power, and answers so that you may go through life knowing that no matter what comes your way, you’ll be able to handle it.

When people say that I’ll only give you as much as you can handle, that is not true. You’re the one that gives that to yourself because you’re the only one that knows how much you can handle; don’t be a fool. I repeat myself again, I gave you all the tools you needed before you came down; how you chose to use it is up to you. I gave you mercy when I saw you suffering and when you were near death, I gave you mercy and took you, but I am not the one that took your life. When I see you in misery, I give you mercy. When you make horrible mistakes, I give you mercy. When you asked for forgiveness, I say to you, “You must forgive yourself.” You have the tendency to blame everyone because you’re not able to deal with the truth. When the time comes, I would judge you and only you. Do not use the excuse that I was never here for you. I have sent you help but you chose not to hear your spirits.

I’ve given you a lot, but you have not done anything with it because you believe in society. You don’t believe in the voice you hear. Are there negative voices out there? Yes, but there’s also positive voice and you’re old enough to know the difference.

No one has seen me, but you have seen others and you’ve seen things. The universe is so big that there are wonders that no one can ever imagine. I have shown you false leaders and you will continue to see and hear false people. Remember, I am everything and anything. I am never one thing, never assume. Take those blinders off your eyes and those plugs out of your ears and allow yourself to hear and see. Society confused you for that is their purpose. You are all gifted and you are all genius, remember that. You chose to come to earth; that was your choice and I agreed upon it. Don’t believe in what you hear; believe in what you see. Don’t allow anyone to see it for you; see it for yourself. I have tried in every way for you to hear your spirits, but you still haven’t woken up. I am only one thing, but I am all. I travel in many forms; I come and go. People give me different names. They all have different ways of how they cherish me. You still don’t get it though. I don’t want to be cherished; I want you to cherish yourself as you follow your journey just as I have. I didn’t give anyone rules; I gave knowledge and wisdom. For rules come from mankind. We all lose our way but when you ask me to show you the way, I will. It is up to you to find the rest of the way and it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen right away either so chill; just be prepared for when it does happen. It’s up to you, never me.

I am not here to walk you along the way. I show you the door and you do the rest; that is something you need to do on your own because that is the path you chose to take. There will be a time when you need me and there will be times that you don’t and that is ok. It’s not that different than when you needed your parents and they were there for you. I gave you the brain to think, not to abuse or hurt humanity. I gave you a heart to feel sorrow, to have compassion, to understand, to feel the love that was given to you by me, so that you may share it with those around you. I gave you tools to use for positive, not for negative. Those who use it for the wrong reasons will know the pain they have caused when we come face to face for no one gets away with anything here on earth and in my world.

Share the beauty of the words and the freedom to be. My name is (I). YOU ALL HAVE GIVEN ME MANY NAMES, WHICH WAS A WASTE FOR ALL IT DID WAS DIVIDE EVERYONE IN THE WORLD; THAT WASN’T MY PURPOSE. IT WAS ABOUT UNITING EACH OTHER. YOU HAVE LOST SIGHT OF MY PURPOSE AND MY JOURNEY THAT I FOLLOWED.

You listen to those that have their own agenda, but you never allow yourself to hear the voice within you. You read those books that tell my stories but that is not my story; that is a story that was created for their own purposes. Know this: I AM LOVE, I AM COMPASSION, I AM FREEDOM, I AM JOY, I AM LAUGHTER, I AM PEACE, I AM YOU, AND YOU ARE ME. NO MORE, NO LESS. FORGIVENESS DOESN’T ONLY COME FROM ME, BUT IT ALSO COMES FROM YOU. FOR I AM NOT HELL OR FEAR; THAT COMES FROM THE BOOKS YOU READ. YOUR JOB AS A PARENT IS TO MAKE SURE YOU MAKE THAT CHILD FEEL SAFE AND GIVE THEM JOY, LOVE, AND LAUGHTER. WHY AM I DIFFERENT IN YOUR EYES? ESPECIALLY WHEN I GIVE YOU THE SAME THINGS YOU GIVE TO YOUR CHILD. I AM ALSO A FATHER. PLEASE THINK. I am not cruel or hard. I am not a hypocrite. I don’t say one thing and do another, as it has been written. I am fair. I am generous, I am compassionate, I am forgiveness, I am peace, I am love, I am the light that shines through you.

When you choose to come to me, come to me out of love, not fear for that is not love. You must learn how to live, how to fly as I did before I left earth. I sent you here to learn and grow, to become human, and to go through whatever small or big situations you must go through to grow and learn. That is your purpose and to enjoy live, to laugh, to love and so much more. You will go through your ups and downs; that is part of life. Make your life count, do not waste it.

I was not perfect; I was human like you and I have gifts just as you do. Why do you think I can understand your pain, your sorrow, your tears, your anguish, your confusion, your anger, your hatred, your sadness, your betrayal, your sense of loss, and your conflicting feelings? I lived as a human; why is that so hard to understand? You have created me in a way which I am not. I am not a God; I have chosen to be human just like you. We left our wings behind to become human. We all came to become greater within ourselves for our journey has lessons that will take us further. You have allowed yourself to learn and grow within your journey, to be the best you can be. I will always be here to help, but you will end up doing most of the work. For when you ask for help, I will give you the courage and strength that you may need to accomplish the path you are supposed to fulfill. You’re the one that makes the miracles with me; it’s never me alone. We all work together.

Someday, the earth must cleanse itself as it has done many centuries ago; that has nothing to do with me. It has to do with how the land is treated because mother nature has her own agenda. Everything is not about me for there is more here than just me. Humankind has done a lot of damage to the earth. I don’t create devastations; I created love and peace. Devastations occur because no one wants to listen to the land and the skies for all will suffer because of humankind’s greed and power. You must learn how to think for yourself. I have given you everything you needed so now choose what you really need.

For I have spoken.

You have let society live for you; you have let books lead you for it was your choice, chosen all along. Continue your journey and fulfill that journey as much as you can. Don’t be afraid of me or fear me, FOR I AM LOVE!!

MANY HAVE GIVEN ME SO MANY NAMES AND I AM JUST ONE, THAT’S ALL. I AM (I).

NO ONE NEEDS TO BELIEVE. JUST BELIEVE IN YOU AND SEE. DON’T LET ILLUSIONS TAKE OVER, NOT EVEN THE WORDS OF SOCIETY!!!

I AM I, AS YOU ARE I.

Part 3

It’s amazing how all of you don’t question everything because if you did maybe you’d find your answers. Perhaps you won’t question everything because you’re not sure if you should or maybe you choose not to. There are many people whose faith lies in science, or UFO’s and aliens, or religion. There are also people who are atheists and there are those that believe in their own way, while others believe in the negative. Everyone needs to find their own way and what they should believe in, whether it’s acceptable or not. There are many people that don’t know what to believe in. Yet, what you see in front of you is never enough because you choose not to look. It’s hard to look at yourself in that mirror and come to the realization that, that person you have seen all this time was never that person to begin with. Now you must look and see the real you. Now you must deal with all your baggage and realize the pain you have caused others as well as yourself. Now you need to build yourself up again and learn how to believe and trust in yourself by asking for forgiveness to that person in the mirror.


That’s where it all begins, with you. For without you, there is nothing. No truth and nothing to see. You live in a system that is corrupted, no matter where you look. For it shows its true self but you choose to blind yourself from seeing it, so all you can do is avoid it and run in another direction. What a waste of time. No matter what direction you run to, it will always be there so tell me, what are you gaining? Why do you keep wasting time?

Yet, everyone is finding ways to make money on my name and using fear to conquer those that are weak so that they enter their domain. You also choose to run away and stay blinded; that brings sadness to me. Don’t expect to use these things as an excuse for I will not accept it. Everyone thinks that what they believe in will set them free and that is not the answer. I look at those who believe that they are coming to my home. You all will be very surprised to see who enters my home.

You cover yourself beneath the ground thinking that I am not seeing you. Everyone is fooling themselves, especially you. You know we are not perfect for I was not perfect; that would be impossible to do here on earth. We can only do the best we can; no more, no less. Allow yourself to be the person you were meant to me. Money or riches is not what I am looking for, that is your department here on earth. You have yet to find the way when it comes to learning about yourself and realizing who you are and why you chose to come here on earth. Until you find those answers, then and only then, can you believe in my existence for you have yet to learn about your own existence. What I ask is so simple but for you it is so hard to give, for you have never ever taken the time to find out who you are.

You allow books and people, who have that chemistry, to make you feel guilty in my name, which wasn’t my choice. Remember what I said to you, I am I. I AM NOT JESUS, NOR GOD. THE NAME YOU HAVE CHOSEN FOR ME IS NOT THE ONE I CHOSE. FOR MY NAME IS I, THAT’S THE NAME I CHOSE. I SAID IT BEFORE, I AM EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING. Mankind makes the rules on this earth, not I. I have said, I is who I am. I send my children, who are spirits, to share this message with you. Do as you please, for everyone has free choice. There will be many people with charisma who will use these words to convince you to believe in what they are saying and their truth. What is the truth? Do you really know the truth? Or do you pretend to know or not know the truth?

I give you gifts so you can engage in the world. My words were simple, but mankind made it difficult for you to understand so now everyone manipulates the words to their own satisfaction. My words were simple, so that everyone could understand what was said to them. For my words would make them realize what I expect from my children. Mankind took my words to take control and put fear in my children. I have seen how they empower those magical words, so they can enslave my children.

It was told that I sacrificed people on my name and how I made them suffer in pain and agony, so that they could show me how faithful they are to me. How could you believe that? How can anyone believe in that? That would make me cruel and insensitive when I am all about love and peace. I know the weight that you all carry for I have carried the cruelty of this world as you all do. Do you believe all that is said about me, especially when they said that no one should have no other God but me, for I am a jealous God? How could I say that when all religions have different Gods? Mohammed, Buddha, Krishna, Jehovah, Allah, Brahman, Yahweh and a few more that you might or might not know of. My children, how ignorant can you be? It’s mankind who made you believe that I am jealous. Why don’t you ask, what reason should I have to be jealous? All because you believe in other religions, so shame on you? I expect for you to know who and what you are. I know who I am so, why should I be jealous? Please, my children, think. Why would I inflict that pain on my children? You all believe that I punish you, but you are the ones that punish yourselves first. You punish yourself very well; you created the negativity, not me. You can’t believe everything you read or hear when it comes to I. Really, do you believe everything that was written about me? I am the only one that knows the truth. The way mankind has written it is not the right way. It’s not about control or fear; that’s not what I am about. You’re still sleeping and haven’t woken up yet. Don’t go by what you see in front of you; always watch what’s behind you because if you don’t it’ll sneak up on you when you least expect it. I promise you when you are awoken, you’ll get to see it. This system is not what it looks like. It covers itself up with so much evil and negativity and takes whatever words make you feel better.

My children are going in the wrong direction. What happened to helping one another? What happened to caring? Where has it all gone? Everyone has lost themselves and instead have become self-centered in a way that is so negative. I teach my children that they must get their lives together by trusting and believing in themselves. They must learn how to deal with their problems for everything must come from them first. And yes, you all need time for yourselves and that is fine to be selfish in a positive way. That is the reason you’re taking the time to learn and grow so you could be able to teach others, but we must learn from our mistakes and fix our own mistakes first. So, yes, we do need time for ourselves. We also need to see who we hurt along the process for we all need to take responsibility for our own actions.

My children are being tossed aside with no kind of help. Schools have gotten worse. Many teachers are getting tired of teaching because kids have no respect towards them. Education has become boring and draining. You teach math so they could know the value of money but what values are you really teaching them? You teach history so they can learn about the past but you give them no knowledge of the truth.

Working families try to make ends meet. Where children are rising themselves, many parents have chosen to close their eyes some have find it hard to help their children because they so absorb with themselves, others find it hard to control their children, society doesn’t make it any easy either. children selling drugs, making money easily, children killing children, people killing each other, Families harming themselves, families separating many of them will end up in jail. Everybody is trying to stay a foaled.

You teach science but who’s science are you really teaching? This universe you see is more than you could ever imagine and those that knew the truth were killed for it. Making other people, who were still alive, feel as though they were losing their minds because the world convinced you that they were crazy. People who have seen UFOs and were taken by them, which the government allowed, were considered crazy as well. And the world convinced them that they were crazy. They hid the truth for many centuries. In time, the truth will come out. Many people have seen the truth already but are afraid to say anything. Who is to say that alien didn’t start this world and all the people that are here? You see, you don’t know anything. The government allows you to know only what is necessary and what the media tells you; that is enough. That’s why you follow mankind, so you don’t have to think for yourselves. I just hope that you don’t stay sleeping for long. The universe carries so much mystery and you all will be surprised of what is out there.

FINAL MESSAGE FROM “I”

I gave you my children so that you may teach them about being human and about learning different things in this world. I didn’t give them to you, so that they could feel lost and confused. I didn’t give them to you so that they would be unsure of who they are or so that they would lose their purpose for why they came here in the first place. If I didn’t give you a child then, you were to find a child that needed a parent for I knew there were going to be many children that were going to need care and love. I have never denied you of becoming a mother or father; it was your choice to be that parent, whether you gave birth or not. It was up to you to take a child that needed love and needed a parent. I heard your prayers and gave you what you needed, maybe it wasn’t the way you wanted it, but I gave you what you really needed. Many of you choose not to hear my answers for there are so many of my children looking to be loved and kept warm. No one was ever left without a child. I understand that there are also mothers that weren’t meant to be mothers.


Knowledge was given to you to prepare a better world, not to use or abuse it. For you took that knowledge and destroyed it because of greed and power. You do not use the knowledge to make the world better, but you will feel the outcome of that soon. Technology is also used for negativity; it is used to make you stop thinking, instead of opening the unknown that is hidden within your brain. Why did you stop yourself from thinking? It’s not like you were thinking before anyhow. You, as well as your children, waste most of your time on your phones, looking at social media. If it was giving you what you needed to learn then I could see its purpose but it’s not teaching, you anything aside from violence. It changes you and not for the better; the youth are getting more lost than ever. It is teaching you how to be dumber than what you already are. If people choose to make themselves look foolish and you find that interesting, then the problem lies within you. You all came here to find a direction, not to waste time. Everyone’s brain is losing a great deal. They are losing the geniuses that was given to them before coming to earth. There are people that use their genius side to become successful in a negative way. This is something you can see by looking at how bad the planet is turning and by looking at who is running this world. You are the ones that are losing out from the knowledge and wisdom that was embedded in you before you entered earth.

Education in society is just an industry for it was never ever about education; it was about the money. I give knowledge to all my children to build a better world, so they could educate themselves on what’s important. A farmer doesn’t go to school to learn how to farm. They learn from the person that had the land before them. We learn from each other. You learn from a teacher that is interested in the same things you are, just as a parent teaches their child how to clean, cook, show respect, how to behave, and so many other things. It’s so sad that everything is about money and not about the value of a human life. It’s sad that they have cures for all these diseases, but they keep it for themselves. Many people will die for the betterment of the future of science. The governments have their agenda and so do the corporations. They will make you all suffer as time goes on, for they are becoming richer and powerful each day as we continue to stay poor and become homeless. You are not important, only a number to them. Money speaks in this world. You go to college to learn things you don’t need to know, and you end up paying for your knowledge that was already given to you. Instead of them teaching you all the right ways there are and changing you so that you are the person you were meant to be in whatever field that interested you.

When children enter the real world after college, everyone says “Go find a job,” but no one tells them that it won’t be the same as what you learned in college. Hopefully, they’ll find the job that they are looking for, but the system lies to them and it’s gotten to the point where children are not using the education they graduated for. What are they supposed to do when they find out that it didn’t work out the way it was supposed to? It doesn’t matter to the rich because they got what they wanted from you, which was money. The degree, a piece of paper, shows you that you're capable of working for society, so that you can make that money for the system and the industry. That’s why you went to college, to show them that you’re capable of working in that world out there and that they have permission to use what you have, all for that piece of paper. It’s the game of monopoly with your money; that’s how they get richer and richer. You are getting poorer and becoming a slave to this system. The economy will continue going up and you won’t be able to catch up because the wages stay the same.


I have given you land and food to grow. I have given you ways to stay warm and have shelter that shouldn’t cost anything but your time. You have taken it and made it into a business. I am disappointed in everyone who has taken the tools I have given them and used it for power and greed. Many people have followed and have used it to take control, to become abusive with power, and to enslave my children. You became human, but you lost your values and the way of the light because of temptation. Don’t think that because you’re rich or poor that you will enter my world, believe me, that won’t happen; it won’t be that easy. No matter what you believe in, there is so much more than what you might think. I see you haven’t really learned much at all because you still cover yourself with what you believe in but many of you are hypocrites. You have portrayed something that you’re not. I have many eyes looking at you for I also have my children looking.


There is so much beauty in every country, no matter where you go, just as there is beauty in you. In every country, you can’t run away from negative; it's everywhere you go. I cannot take away the negativity. You must learn how to embrace it and let it go. You must become stronger by believing in yourself. You have the power to overcome it and become positive. People that use greed and power by dealing with negativity will learn in time that everything will go forward and attack you. When I use the word “punish,” understand that it won’t come from me; that will come from you. It’s not my way to punish since you all do a great job on punishing yourselves. We all breathe the same air but many of you haven’t learned how to breathe yet.


You have to take the knowledge, wisdom, and the many gifts I have given you and use it to your benefit; allow yourself to hurt. Those around you made a world of reality for themselves and took it to open their own gift. Know that life is precious; that the wonder of laughter is gold, that the joy in your lives is magic, that the calmness in which we feel is peace, that the love in which we share brightens our lights which are hiding inside of us ready to be explored like the many thousands of stars that shine all over the sky. As it brings more of the light within us and makes it glow; give us more life as we take a deep breath and feel the joy and peace that comes with it.


Today you could be all right and tomorrow you can end up homeless, not because you choose to be but because things are getting bad; I see it. Don’t be surprised if we are all in the midst of it ourselves. We don’t think that will ever happen to us, but we are only special to ourselves and our family. Remember, society doesn’t care, and you would be a fool to think they do. Don’t ever think that you can’t become homeless for everything and anything is possible. The system is preparing itself.

What has happened to true love? It’s been lost for everyone’s love has become a shadow of a glass and when it fills up there is no way to go so it spills, leaving only a bit of water left and that’s what you all have done to the word “LOVE!” It has lost its value! JUST AS YOU HAVE DONE TO THE LIFE, I HAVE GIVEN YOU! BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU MUST BUT BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY, YOU WILL SEE THE TRUTH WHEN THE TIME COMES, MY CHILDREN. YOU ASK, “WHERE ARE YOU?” I AM THERE WHEN YOU NEED ME, YOU JUST DON’T BELIEVE I AM THERE BECAUSE YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

I DIDN’T CREATE THIS WORLD; MANKIND DID THAT AND AGAIN, YOU JUST FOLLOW. DON’T BLAME ME FOR YOUR CHOICES. DON’T BLAME ME FOR NOT HEARING YOUR PRAYERS. BLAME YOURSELVES FOR NOT HEARING THE ANSWERS OR BEING AWARE OF THE ANSWERS; IT COMES IN DIFFERENT FORMS. YOU CHOSE TO FORGET WHEN YOU ENTERED THIS EARTH. DON’T BELIEVE IT WHEN SOMEONE SAYS, “I SPOKE TO I,” FOR NO ONE HAS. MY CHILDREN ARE THE ONES THAT SEND THE MESSAGES FOR MY CHILDREN ARE THE ONES I SEND TO EARTH TO SHARE MY MESSAGES. DON’T ALLOW ANYONE TO USE THE WORDS “GOD” TO SAY THEY GOT A MESSAGE FROM ME BECAUSE IT WASN’T ME. FOR I SPEAK TO THE SPIRITS AND THE SPIRITS SPEAK TO EVERYONE SO ALL OF YOU COULD HEAR MY MESSAGES. FOR YOU ALL HAVE THE POWER TO HEAR IT ALL.

JUST WAKE UP!




IT WILL CATCH UP!

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What is your truth? Do we hear the truth? Or do you wait to see the truth in what we’re dealing with? We go around trying to find the truth and many of us choose not to care about the truth. Everyone is looking for those answers. Many people are afraid of knowing the truth for it is not something anybody wants to hear or face in their lives. So, then, what is the truth? Who do we really believe in? Everything sounds convincing in the moment. People can easily convince you that the color you see is not the actual color shown and they’ll make you feel stupid about it. You’ll look at them and think, “Wow! This person knows what they are saying.” Then, before you know it, you’re involved in something you shouldn’t be all because you suddenly became afraid or confused.

You’re not taking responsibility for what you feel. Why do you do that? Because you get afraid and in that moment you need help to deal with what you’re going through. That’s the moment when you find out that you can’t do it on your own. So, you find yourself going anywhere to get the help you need and to find answers about why you feel the way you do. Yet, you don’t know if these places are where you need to truly be. You don’t question it; you just need to stop feeling the way you do because it’s making you feel uncomfortable and you never ever felt like this before, nor do you understand it. This is when the danger starts. I see people coming through my door desperate to find answers and they are willing to do anything to find them because they can’t deal with what they’re feeling; it makes them feel less normal. They think they are going crazy or losing their mind but it’s just a conflict they are going through and it is not easy at all. Many people can’t understand it unless they’re going through it themselves.

What I want you to understand is that everyone will eventually go through situations like this for everything catches up with us. Just know this, you are not going crazy but this is something that you need to deal with and work through. And yes, some people might need more help than others. Some people will learn that this is a stepping stone while others will let their pride and ego get in the way of sharing how they feel. They won’t tell others that they are going through some changes and that they don’t know how to explain it but it will pass. Some people will find it difficult to go through and that’s when they go looking for help. Some of these people will end up in religion while others will see a therapist or psychiatrist. Some people might drink more than ever while others will take drugs and as sad as it may be there are some that will commit suicide. Unfortunately, some things will hit harder than others but understand that no matter what, you’re always in control, your mind is powerful, and you can make it stronger by realizing that this miserable feeling will eventually pass; you just need to believe that.

We all need to face our mistakes and the things we thought we got away with. I tell my students, “This will pass. You just need to go and face all of these things.” I help them to understand that as fucked up as it may be, this is a part of life but they need to be strong and try not to give in to those feelings. Sadly, this is why many people end up going through depression and anxiety. However, try to understand that you will get better by asking for help, just be aware of where that help is coming from. Question it first and know why you are there; just because you might feel desperate doesn’t mean you lost the rest of your brain. Take a deep breath and see what you need to do and where you need to go. We end up in places we don’t need to be in because of the crisis we are going through. We don’t need to make it worse for ourselves either. Please think and give yourself a chance.

All of these things we are going through is a growing process and it allows you to ask questions such as: Where do I belong? Who am I and what am I? What has my life meant for me? What have I done in my life? Why did I become this way? How did I end up here? Was it worth it? Why was I an asshole? Why was I cruel to people? Why did I carry anger? Why was I always mad? Why did I marry this person? Why did I spend my money foolishly? Why did I stay in this job that I was so miserable in? What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I feeling this way? When did this shit start? Why now? I can’t breathe. I need to get out of here. I can’t deal with these people anymore. Things start bothering you and everyone looks at you like you’re going crazy. You don’t want people to always ask, “What the hell is wrong with you?” Or “Shit! Are you going crazy?” Who needs to hear that shit when you’re going through these changes?

You might think, “I understand this. Isn’t this what I went through in my 20s or 30s so why am I going through it again?” However, what you don’t realize is that you learned a great deal and have done many things which you never took the time to think over. You see, we all need answers for all the things we’ve gone through, whether good or bad, but there are always answers. Many people just go on living their lives and feel that they don’t need to answer to anyone but we do; we need to answer to ourselves.

Life has always had a hidden agenda; it will surprise and shock you. So, who do we believe in? Believe in yourself first because you’re the one going through these changes. Second, find a place you can trust. Don’t join anything because you are afraid and you want answers as fast as possible. Don’t convince yourself you’re weak because you’re not; this is just a passing journey that we all go through. I have students in different ages going through it. There is always a relief over that tunnel; I guarantee you. Don’t allow it to take you away from your journey. Again, this is part of growing up. In life everyone gets hit one way or another. You see, we all need to look at ourselves whether we want to or not. A la buena o a la mala; that is your choice.

Parents don’t share these experiences because they don’t understand it themselves and they probably believe that you won’t go through these things. Everyone’s experience is different from the way in which they are born to how they chose to live their life but we all have a story to tell. Sometimes that’s all we need so that we may share and really let go and forgive those that have hurt us and so much more. I guarantee you, it will catch up.

INSPIRATION

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We all need to be inspired but we forget that the ones we need inspiration from is ourselves. We so easily accept it from others when we need to do it for ourselves first because when others do it for us we are not ready to accept that help. We feel as though we are entitled to it when we are not. Why? What is the purpose of someone giving you inspiration when you are not ready, or you feel you are not worthy to receive it? It is a waste of their time and yours. It starts with us first; no one is entitled to anything unless we have earned it on our own than we are entitled. Don’t expect people to be there for you; it’s not their job to be there. It is your job to be there for yourself and get what you need so that you may grow. There are things in life that you will face on your own and there will be times when people will be there for you but if it's not meant to be then it is what it is. We expect so much from others and not enough from ourselves; that is sad. Why is it sad? Because it shows that you don’t think you're enough to make it happen on your own. Everything starts with you first; you’re the one that needs to take that first step. Before opening that door, be honest enough with yourself to understand that others might or might not be there and that is ok because it is right for you to take that journey on your own; there is a purpose for it. Life can be cruel sometimes and that’s why you need to be strong and learn how to depend on yourself first; remember, everything starts with you first. No one needs to accept you, but you. We put so much pressure on others and expect them to have the answers for us, but they also need to find answers for themselves just like we do. We all come with answers, it's just that we’ve never ever been taught to believe that but it’s true. You have your own answers within you. You don’t think you’re a genius and you don’t realize what you came down with. We carry so much baggage within us and we bring it into our relationships. We think that it will all get fixed but it’s not. We expect our partners to find our answers for that baggage we carry but that is not their job, that is yours to figure it out long before you even put yourself in a relationship. Remember, inspiration always starts with you first and no one else. You’re the one that knows what you need or don’t need. Stop wasting your time and go do what you need to do. Remember, don’t go to the negative because that is not what I mean; follow the positive journey. No one says it’s going to be easy but what is easy? Right?

BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE A PURPOSE AND THAT PURPOSE IS NOT TO BE MISERABLE BUT TO BE HAPPY AND BE EXCITED TO FOLLOW YOUR JOURNEY. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU NEED FOR YOURSELF.

Learn about who and what you are! I always tell everyone, especially my students, “You are all geniuses, but you choose not to believe because of what society teaches you.” No matter what higher source you came from or believe in remember that, that higher source is powerful, and we all come from there which means we are all powerful as well and we carry so much knowledge and wisdom within us. We are never as powerful as the higher source, but we do carry some of that within us; these are the tools that were given to us so that we may follow our journeys. How you use it is up to you. You could use it for positive as well as negative; that is your choice. We all can see how the corporations and the government inspire us in a very negative way. We can also see it with many other negative people in this country and around the world. Sadly, many people choose not to see this.

REMEMBER, INSPIRATION STARTS WITH YOU!!! BE THE WINNER YOU ARE MEANT TO BE!!

Lose or Find

                                Lose or Find

                                Lose or Find

How does one express their love? What has happened to love? Where are the loves stories and where has it gone? I look around and notice that the romance has also disappeared. I close my eyes and look for the picture in my mind, wondering for the picture of love. It’s gone but I can’t accept that it has disappeared. Maybe it is hiding from us or it has worn itself out. I must find it; I refuse to accept that it no longer exists.

Where is the love of loves? Why can’t we see it or feel it? Where has the meaning of love gone? Have we become so blinded and fooled ourselves with the game of love by saying that it is a convenience? We have lowered ourselves to the emptiness and followed the illusion that has covered our eyes. We have no idea about love. We catch bits and pieces of what was once love and we realize that what we felt was never true love. You just get the sense of it as you take a breath and you know that it has been lost by you for you choose to hide. You live life like everyone else and think that love is about power, greed, control, beauty, material, the unbeliever, and the user. What have our parents taught us about love? It has been lost for so long that only a few have seen it, felt it, and made sense of it. They acknowledge what the true meaning of love is and the sacrifices one makes for it.

You have allowed love to slip away, for you have loved so many times but never felt true love within you. Instead, you play games and gamble with love but that was never real love. You were not willing to learn about that love so you closed your eyes for other things that had nothing to do with love. How sad are you? WAKE UP and surround yourself with the love that matters.

You held me to the wonders of the world, never ever letting go while realizing that the love you offered is the unconditional love of freedom. The smile you have shown me and the warmth I have felt has taught me that no matter where I go your love will always keep me in peace. The warmth of your touch will remind me of the joy of feeling you within me. That love won’t ever die but continue to live until we meet again, my love.

Wings

My Wings  You gave me wings and stood by me no matter what I went through. You always held me up and gave me strength and courage even when I didn’t see it.   You gave me wings to fly even though I didn’t use them. You have always been there for me but I chose to walk away. You always held me up while I held myself down for I didn’t want to see what was there.  I have chosen to fly; not knowing which direction to go but wanting to find my way. You have opened doors for me but I choose not to walk through them.   You’ve given me wings to fly and search for what is out there and yet I close my eyes to what has been in front of me. All this time I have been searching but I have not been able to see a thing.  I surrendered myself to myself. I had dreams but instead, I put those away for others because they mattered more than me. I surrounded myself with things that didn’t concern me and it just brought joy to others but not to me. I was using my wings, strength, and courage for them without realizing how unkind I was with myself.       The wings were mine but I gave it to everyone, when everyone already had their own wings to fly; and their own strength and courage. I allowed everyone to take away my wings, courage, and my strength.   I surrender myself and continue to surrender myself to my wings so that I am able to fly and see the truth within me. I will use the strength and courage to open new doors and find the one person that I was supposed to be in the first place. Today, I set myself free from all of those which I have allowed to take me away from myself. I say to you all, “Go find your own wings and fly in the direction you need to. You can do it with the same things I came with.”  There is a time when we need to say, “enough is enough.” I have seen enough tears and pain that comes with so much hatred. I have seen the darkness and now I want to see the light. Now, it's time to fulfill my life with my dreams, whether they are short or long. I am going to use my wings, my courage, and my strength so that I can complete what I was meant to.    I know words can be wasted but no more. I will take my wings and fly as far as I can. I know life will hit me but I promise when I feel helpless I will use what was given to me so that I may be able to pick myself up again for life will continue going on. You allow me to fly upon the sky and see the beauty that I hold within myself while showing me the knowledge and wisdom I carried all this time but was unable to see.  I will fly with my wings and go as far as I allow myself to go; this time following my own dreams.

My Wings

You gave me wings and stood by me no matter what I went through. You always held me up and gave me strength and courage even when I didn’t see it.
 
You gave me wings to fly even though I didn’t use them. You have always been there for me but I chose to walk away. You always held me up while I held myself down for I didn’t want to see what was there.

I have chosen to fly; not knowing which direction to go but wanting to find my way. You have opened doors for me but I choose not to walk through them.
 
You’ve given me wings to fly and search for what is out there and yet I close my eyes to what has been in front of me. All this time I have been searching but I have not been able to see a thing.

I surrendered myself to myself. I had dreams but instead, I put those away for others because they mattered more than me. I surrounded myself with things that didn’t concern me and it just brought joy to others but not to me. I was using my wings, strength, and courage for them without realizing how unkind I was with myself.    
 
The wings were mine but I gave it to everyone, when everyone already had their own wings to fly; and their own strength and courage. I allowed everyone to take away my wings, courage, and my strength.
 
I surrender myself and continue to surrender myself to my wings so that I am able to fly and see the truth within me. I will use the strength and courage to open new doors and find the one person that I was supposed to be in the first place. Today, I set myself free from all of those which I have allowed to take me away from myself. I say to you all, “Go find your own wings and fly in the direction you need to. You can do it with the same things I came with.”

There is a time when we need to say, “enough is enough.” I have seen enough tears and pain that comes with so much hatred. I have seen the darkness and now I want to see the light. Now, it's time to fulfill my life with my dreams, whether they are short or long. I am going to use my wings, my courage, and my strength so that I can complete what I was meant to. 
 
I know words can be wasted but no more. I will take my wings and fly as far as I can. I know life will hit me but I promise when I feel helpless I will use what was given to me so that I may be able to pick myself up again for life will continue going on. You allow me to fly upon the sky and see the beauty that I hold within myself while showing me the knowledge and wisdom I carried all this time but was unable to see.

I will fly with my wings and go as far as I allow myself to go; this time following my own dreams.

Accident

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Life has a way of sending things your way that you may not be prepared to handle. Who says we can’t handle it? We don’t know how we are going to deal with things until it happens. We always have choices and it’s always up to us. Do we live in guilt and depression and just give up? Or do we decide to live on and make a difference? It’s really up to you. Tragedy occurs, and we fall apart because we don’t know how we are going to deal with it or how to go through the devastation. 

We blame ourselves for this accident and I get it, because that is the first thing we do as human beings. You take the guilt because you are a caring human being. It wasn’t your fault; it was an accident and just that. Though it is hard on you, you need time to make peace with yourself and learn how to forgive yourself. They are no words in this moment that is going to make it easier for you. You’re the only one that can do that by allowing yourself to feel what you need to feel and cry if you need to. Allow yourself to feel angry and yell if you need to. Allow yourself to look in the mirror and let it all out. Don’t let your frustration spill over on the people you love; don’t attack them because that is not acceptable.

Go see someone you can talk to about what you are feeling. Don’t let ego or pride get in the way of your ability to get help. Don’t be afraid of the unknown; it’s just a new door you are going through. If you want to make a difference than do something with your life and make it worth something. Don’t let this lead you into the negative; make it worthwhile and make those two lives mean something. You have a chance so use it for positivity even though you don’t see that right now. No one is going to know how you really feel; only you. They can’t know because they didn’t go through what you went through; all they want to do is help you even if their kind of help is not what you need at the time.

No one knows how to act or respond in this situation but just know that everyone is coming from a place of love for you. The only one that needs to make a difference is you.   

This will change you and you won’t ever be the same person you were yesterday. Without you realizing it, you have already changed even though you don’t see it yet. Tragic devastations change us whether we see it or not; try not to be hard on yourself.

Take this tragedy and use it to grow and learn by becoming better within yourself and your life. Make things matter by doing the best that you can. I understand that you’re going to feel bad, sad, guilty, or even give up on yourself. All those feelings are natural, but we can’t feed into those feelings either. You will feel that way, but you don’t need to stay there in that darkness. 

Don’t think that getting drunk or high is the answer because it’s not; it will take you where you don’t need to be. You definitely won’t find answers there for sure. Everything will come in time; just give yourself the time you need to be whole again and don’t rush it because that doesn’t work either.

You’re not there to please anyone but yourself so take it day by day. Help yourself by asking others for help. What I ask and pray for you is that you give yourself a chance and face what is necessary for you to face so that in time you let it go. What I wish for you is that you can be able to stand up stronger, more courageous, accept the person that you see in that mirror, and realize how great and special you are and that you are worth a great deal. In time, give yourself that chance to see that person in the mirror.

Is that alright?

 Our Booklet for the previous  "Annual -ALWAYS FREE- Spiritual Workshop's "  2/10/2018 . 

 Our Booklet for the previous  "Annual -ALWAYS FREE- Spiritual Workshop's "  2/10/2018 . 

                                                               DIRECTIONS

The hurricane goes in one direction but when the hurricane hits it goes in so many directions. It moves everything that is in its way, leaving us to build what has been destroyed. It shows us how strong we are within or it shows us our weakness. The hurricane that destroyed everything teaches us to build up from the bottom or do we allow ourselves to stay in the bottom? The choices are always up to us for that hurricane might not come just once but many times.

Are we prepared to continue getting up from the ground no matter how many times we need to? When a hurricane comes, is it to wake us up or is it giving you a message that you still have not understood? How many hurricanes would it take before you wake up and realize the truth within you? How many times does it take to realize the truth within you? Is that alright?

                                                                      LOCK

Where does one go to stand when they feel lonely? We are not able to understand the loneliness that one feels within. We try to cover it up with so many things but no matter how much we try, it doesn't happen. How far am I really willing to reach with this loneliness? Do I reach out to the world or do I realize that the loneliness I feel comes from within me? When do I take responsibility for the way I feel? I need to see that the world can’t give me what I need. It is only me that can fulfill that need.

We are taught that those in which we meet and become intimate with are supposed to give us what we are missing within, but that is so wrong because no one is here to give you anything. That is not their job; it is your job to fulfill the emptiness that you hold onto and only you can break out of that prison. Free yourself from what holds you back, which is you, as it has been said: You are your own worst enemy.   

 

                                                                   RAIN

Rain, rain go away, come back another day for my tears have gone as far as it has gone. I want to feel the sun on my face and feel the warmth and the light shine inside of me where love has once been and now it is gone. Love doesn't ask why, and it doesn’t explain why it is what it is; though many question it. Was it true love or just a passing love? We never question love; we take it for face value. Then at the end, we suffer the pain and anguish that follows. Love becomes what you want it to become. Love is so many things but, in reality, it doesn’t make a difference for love is love and it does consist of pain and anguish either way. Is that alright?

 

                                                                CONNECT

Being connected is part of our journey, it's also part of our connection within us. The first connection is with our parents, then family, friends, and finally relationships. Those connections are not the only ones we make; it doesn't end there. Many might think that it does end there because they have forgotten other connections that we have always had before entering this earth. We forget the things that we have left behind and have no knowledge of. For it has been erased as we started to deal with society. Eventually, we lost that connection.

There is a connection to the light, to the sky, to the moon, and to the stars. One of the things that is important and which we have forgotten, is that we are the universe because we carry the universe inside of us. That gift has been given to all of us and it is that part which makes you strong and powerful. Society makes everything about the world out there because that's what they want. In reality, you have always been the universe and powerful within yourself. You came from the universe carrying all the tools that you need and the parts of what is already within you. Society chose to take that away from you and show you their way. They tell you that anything you want or need you should ask the universe and send the vibes out there. They tell you to send it to the universe for what? They neglected to tell you that the universe has been filled with so much negativity, this is why I say that you are the universe. Whatever you need and want, send it to yourself because you won't send anything to yourself that will be harmful or jeopardizes you in any form. The universe has been tempted already so don't go there. I say this to you: You’re the universe. I have always said it and will continue to say it; you are all geniuses, you just don't remember. As children, we do what society says because we believe they know what they are doing but they have no idea what they are doing.  

                                                                      SEE

Everything in this world is an illusion but many choose not to see it. The government and corporations have taken away so much from you and it continues to do so. The government and corporations continue to steal from us in every form of way. We all have become slaves and we have continued this from generation to generation. Are we capable of stopping? No, if the people in this country decided to go to war then maybe there might be change. Or would it make things worse than what it already is? That is the realization whether we choose to see it or not. The reality is that you’re the only person that can make a difference within you if you allow yourself to grow and learn. You accomplish this by living the life that you were meant to, by being the person that you long to be, by learning and not allowing things to affect you the way we allow them to. Do not allow stress, depression, anger, frustration, misery, and unhappiness to fill you. We live in a society that feeds into misery and negative energy; that is how it lives and that is why you're the one that needs to change and get out of that society that makes it complicated. When we allow ourselves to form these categories, we allow ourselves to be controlled by these governments and corporations. We need to set ourselves free from all of that by giving these governments and corporations 5% of ourselves in society. The other 95% belongs to you to do what you wish with it. Can that be possible? Absolutely! Everything and anything is possible. We all need to just wake up.

I TELL MY STUDENTS THIS: DON’T BELIEVE IN WHAT I SAY, BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU SEE IF YOU’RE AWAKENED ENOUGH TO SEE IT!!!

 

                                                                 IS THAT ALL?

 

                                                                LOSE OR FIND

How does one express their love? What has happened to love? Where are the loves stories and where has it gone? I look around and notice that the romance has also disappeared. I close my eyes and look for the picture in my mind, wondering for the picture of love. It’s gone but I can’t accept that it has disappeared. Maybe it is hiding from us or it has worn itself out. I must find it; I refuse to accept that it no longer exists.

 

Where is the love of loves? Why can’t we see it or feel it? Where has the meaning of love gone? Have we become so blinded and fooled ourselves with the game of love by saying that it is a convenience? We have lowered ourselves to the emptiness and followed the illusion that has covered our eyes. We have no idea about love. We catch bits and pieces of what was once love and we realize that what we felt was never true love. You just get the sense of it as you take a breath and you know that it has been lost by you for you choose to hide. You live life like everyone else and think that love is about power, greed, control, beauty, material, the unbeliever, and the user. What have our parents taught us about love? It has been lost for so long that only a few have seen it, felt it, and made sense of it. They acknowledge what the true meaning of love is and the sacrifices one makes for it.

 

You have allowed love to slip away, for you have loved so many times but never felt true love within you. Instead, you play games and gamble with love but that was never real love. You were not willing to learn about that love so you closed your eyes for other things that had nothing to do with love. How sad are you? WAKE UP and surround yourself with the love that matters.

 

You held me to the wonders of the world, never ever letting go while realizing that the love you offered is the unconditional love of freedom. The smile you have shown me and the warmth I have felt has taught me that no matter where I go your love will always keep me in peace. The warmth of your touch will remind me of the joy of feeling you within me. That love won’t ever die but continue to live until we meet a

The System

"The System"

I look at you but you still don’t seem to get it, do you? Things are happening for a reason for it has been told. I kept telling you but you chose not to hear me. Instead, you chose to put too much energy into this system and walk blindfolded and that is exactly what they want. You give it all to them on silver plates. The system knows how to play with us. They have been doing it for centuries and they get away with it. You still choose to hear what you want to hear when it comes to this country. This is all a cover up for what is actually going to happen. I keep telling everyone that this is just the beginning. The system uses our weaknesses and our emotions so they can play with us. All we do is focus on the thing that we don’t have control of but the system makes us believe that we do when in reality we don’t. You need to see what’s behind all of this and why things are really happening and what is heading our way. Again, the system plays with our weaknesses so what are we really afraid of?
1. WAR
2. RACISM
3. PEDOPHILES
4. RAPISTS
5. CORRUPTION
6. CRIMINALS
7. JUDGES
8. LAWYERS
9. EVEN DOCTORS
10. JOBS
11. HOUSING
12. CONTROL
13. POWER

POWER AND GREED IS WHAT RUNS THIS SYSTEM. THEY ARE IN CONTROL WITH EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS AND THE HIGHER UPS ENJOY WATCHING WHAT THEY CREATED. PEOPLE ARE DOING EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT US TO DO. DON’T BE SURPRISED IF THEY ARE MAKING BETS TO SEE WHO WILL WIN AMONGST EACH OTHER. WE ARE THE ONES ON THE CHECKBOARDS. PLEASE, WAKE UP!

As long as they are in control they will have the upper hand in this country. War is heading our way and by the looks of it they are going to get it. Everyone is falling into their trap. I am not saying it’s going to happen tomorrow but it’s working its way there. They play on people’s hatred towards each other and it’s working. I see it on the news and I see it when people share their feelings about these tragedies. I see what’s really going on. They want us to go against each other while the powerful ones take credit for being peacemakers. Damn, this system is good. I give them credit. They know how to really play with people’s intelligence and emotions.

YOU’LL END UP ASKING YOURSELF ONE DAY, “WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED HERE? BOY, HAVE I BEEN SLEEPING ALL THIS TIME?” BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, IT WILL BE TOO LATE. YOU’LL BE ASKING, “WHERE WAS I?”

As you allow yourself to continue to sleep, don’t ask “Why?” When someone is knocking at your door don’t say, “I didn’t know it was coming.” For it was right in front of your face all this time. Donald Trump is the puppet because he allows himself to be used for greed and power. The negative doors have been opening. When I hear President Obama talk to the families that have lost dear ones and to the families of police officers who have been killed it is clear that he doesn’t take sides at all but he covers his ass real good. His answer towards all of them has no real solutions. Instead, he gives them a load of bullshit.

In each and every race there are assholes; there are a great deal of them. The system allows negative messages that are coming from all over, even across the world, in hopes that it will manifest into violence. The higher ups tell these cops to do what they need to do and give them permission to act on it. They open the door for these cops who have always been racist. Now they can act on their own hate because they have given them the power to act out. Some cops might not be racist but choose to join in for whatever reason. They really feel they are being protected and to an extent they are protected but little do these cops really know. They also will end up paying the price. Some have no idea what’s heading their way. I feel really sorry for them for they choose not to see the truth themselves but the truth will come out.

When a cop is shot and dies it is sad but when innocent people are being shot down it is also sad. When death comes in a horrible and tragic way it is messed up. There are no words that anyone can say to those that lose their loved ones at that moment. I can say that everyone matters but I would be lying because not every life matters. There are those that are rapists, pedophiles, and killers that do it just to kill and bring harm to the innocent. Death is death, no matter how you see it. War brings many deaths and now we are here killing each other. For what? For being different, for the color of our skin? Being different is great and the color of our skin is beautiful. Everyone should know by now how this system works; it is against everyone and anyone. That’s how these powerful and greedy people survive and again you still feed into their negative world. I feel for both sides, for death is death. We need to look at the bigger picture. What is the system really getting ready for? What are they preparing the people for? I know, do you? Everything starts small and then it ends up big.

Let’s remind you of what they did to Native Americans and how they came to their land offering peace. When the Native Americans least expected it they were attacked and killed. It is the same as what they did to African-Americans by bringing them into this country and making them slaves. Every race has suffered in their own century one way or another and everybody has suffered racist remarks.

We, as the people, have also been racist towards others like:
Mexicans
Dominicans
Puerto Ricans
Asians
Jewish
And every other race that exists. We act so righteous and yet no one wants to see themselves for who they really are. We make things worse when we carry so much anger and hatred towards each other and towards ourselves. Who is really being a HYPOCRITE WITHIN YOUR RACE? REALLY! COME ON, YOU KNOW THE TRUTH!

The answer is not out there. The answer is and will always be within you. We are so critical and we look to others to justify our negative feelings. Racism has and will always be apart of this world because everyone feeds on it. It is something we choose not to see. We can blame people for their actions but we also have to start looking at ourselves. There are so many bad people in this word and we just close our eyes. Then for a moment when our eyes are open we want to stand up to the truth. The truth has always been there. Where have you been? It’s like we say, “Well, if it hasn’t happened to me then it’s not a big deal.” But many people are dying all around the world, whether it’s our country or another. They are dying because of freedom, religion, power, greed, control, and racism and that is how war starts. People are trying to define what’s going on with whites and blacks. We choose not to see the bigger picture which is the ones that are holding the strings while everyone is the puppet. We don’t go to the higher ups; why is that? People get riled up for the things that is happening but choose not to see the ones who are holding the strings. They are the ones you need to reach out to because they started all of this. Let them know that you know what’s going on. Lets spread the word and tell this government that we know exactly what they are trying to do. COME ON, OPEN YOUR EYES AND YOUR BRAINS! Who is raising the price on rent, food, and clothing? It is all about control. Where do you really think we are going to end up in years to come? What do you think they are working up to? Continue following the system and keep believing in it. When the time comes to show their true colors then and only then will you learn the meaning of what real suffering, pain, hunger, and control is. When is this going to happen? I don’t know in terms of years or months but I do see that it has started little by little. Just WAKE UP! Even though they have been controlling us all this time it will get worse. YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. LET’S STOP FIGHTING EACH OTHER AND START WORKING WITH EACH OTHER.