What is your truth? Do we hear the truth? Or do you wait to see the truth in what we’re dealing with? We go around trying to find the truth and many of us choose not to care about the truth. Everyone is looking for those answers. Many people are afraid of knowing the truth for it is not something anybody wants to hear or face in their lives. So, then, what is the truth? Who do we really believe in? Everything sounds convincing in the moment. People can easily convince you that the color you see is not the actual color shown and they’ll make you feel stupid about it. You’ll look at them and think, “Wow! This person knows what they are saying.” Then, before you know it, you’re involved in something you shouldn’t be all because you suddenly became afraid or confused.
You’re not taking responsibility for what you feel. Why do you do that? Because you get afraid and in that moment you need help to deal with what you’re going through. That’s the moment when you find out that you can’t do it on your own. So, you find yourself going anywhere to get the help you need and to find answers about why you feel the way you do. Yet, you don’t know if these places are where you need to truly be. You don’t question it; you just need to stop feeling the way you do because it’s making you feel uncomfortable and you never ever felt like this before, nor do you understand it. This is when the danger starts. I see people coming through my door desperate to find answers and they are willing to do anything to find them because they can’t deal with what they’re feeling; it makes them feel less normal. They think they are going crazy or losing their mind but it’s just a conflict they are going through and it is not easy at all. Many people can’t understand it unless they’re going through it themselves.
What I want you to understand is that everyone will eventually go through situations like this for everything catches up with us. Just know this, you are not going crazy but this is something that you need to deal with and work through. And yes, some people might need more help than others. Some people will learn that this is a stepping stone while others will let their pride and ego get in the way of sharing how they feel. They won’t tell others that they are going through some changes and that they don’t know how to explain it but it will pass. Some people will find it difficult to go through and that’s when they go looking for help. Some of these people will end up in religion while others will see a therapist or psychiatrist. Some people might drink more than ever while others will take drugs and as sad as it may be there are some that will commit suicide. Unfortunately, some things will hit harder than others but understand that no matter what, you’re always in control, your mind is powerful, and you can make it stronger by realizing that this miserable feeling will eventually pass; you just need to believe that.
We all need to face our mistakes and the things we thought we got away with. I tell my students, “This will pass. You just need to go and face all of these things.” I help them to understand that as fucked up as it may be, this is a part of life but they need to be strong and try not to give in to those feelings. Sadly, this is why many people end up going through depression and anxiety. However, try to understand that you will get better by asking for help, just be aware of where that help is coming from. Question it first and know why you are there; just because you might feel desperate doesn’t mean you lost the rest of your brain. Take a deep breath and see what you need to do and where you need to go. We end up in places we don’t need to be in because of the crisis we are going through. We don’t need to make it worse for ourselves either. Please think and give yourself a chance.
All of these things we are going through is a growing process and it allows you to ask questions such as: Where do I belong? Who am I and what am I? What has my life meant for me? What have I done in my life? Why did I become this way? How did I end up here? Was it worth it? Why was I an asshole? Why was I cruel to people? Why did I carry anger? Why was I always mad? Why did I marry this person? Why did I spend my money foolishly? Why did I stay in this job that I was so miserable in? What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I feeling this way? When did this shit start? Why now? I can’t breathe. I need to get out of here. I can’t deal with these people anymore. Things start bothering you and everyone looks at you like you’re going crazy. You don’t want people to always ask, “What the hell is wrong with you?” Or “Shit! Are you going crazy?” Who needs to hear that shit when you’re going through these changes?
You might think, “I understand this. Isn’t this what I went through in my 20s or 30s so why am I going through it again?” However, what you don’t realize is that you learned a great deal and have done many things which you never took the time to think over. You see, we all need answers for all the things we’ve gone through, whether good or bad, but there are always answers. Many people just go on living their lives and feel that they don’t need to answer to anyone but we do; we need to answer to ourselves.
Life has always had a hidden agenda; it will surprise and shock you. So, who do we believe in? Believe in yourself first because you’re the one going through these changes. Second, find a place you can trust. Don’t join anything because you are afraid and you want answers as fast as possible. Don’t convince yourself you’re weak because you’re not; this is just a passing journey that we all go through. I have students in different ages going through it. There is always a relief over that tunnel; I guarantee you. Don’t allow it to take you away from your journey. Again, this is part of growing up. In life everyone gets hit one way or another. You see, we all need to look at ourselves whether we want to or not. A la buena o a la mala; that is your choice.
Parents don’t share these experiences because they don’t understand it themselves and they probably believe that you won’t go through these things. Everyone’s experience is different from the way in which they are born to how they chose to live their life but we all have a story to tell. Sometimes that’s all we need so that we may share and really let go and forgive those that have hurt us and so much more. I guarantee you, it will catch up.